Tagline: "Two Flame Grilled Patties, Two Cheese Slices, TWICE The Flavour"
Cost: $6.29
Place of purchase: Mobil/QUIX Foodstore
Usability: 8/10, single handed
Able to be brought into Taxi: Yes
Resembles image on packet?: Pre-cook: 8/10, Post-cook: 3/10
Ease of Preparation: Could be done by a vodka swilling pig with only 1 leg.
Bang for your buck: 3/10
The first time for anything in anyone's life is generally 'an interesting time' - the first time you rode a bike, the first time you kissed a girl (or boy... or girl, depending on how you swing) etc.
However, this first time was interesting for other reasons...
The package looked promising - looking like a Big Mac sans salad, the burger itself, fresh out of the packet was nothing too daunting, these cheese looked fine, the patties a little pink, but altogether quite ok.
Oh how the mighty have fallen. The back of the package states an 800w microwave oven is recommended, and that the products unique heating tray would 'enahnce your eating experience, giving you a perfefctly heated product every time'. If by perfectly heated, they meant a soggy bottom, and a rock-hard top, then yes, they've delivered.
The tomato sauce had soaked into the hockey-puck of a top bun, rendering the burger completely sauceless and dry whilst still managing to dehydrate aforementioned bun to the point of space food. The patties themselves were sufficiently moist, although the cheese had morphed from cheese pre-cooking, to a vaguely cheese-like skin post-cooking, with little to no discernible cheese flavour. Overall taste was akin to those terrible highschool 'beef burgers', but with a thousand times more preservatives.
Even if I was heavily intoxicated, I would, after I had sobered up, be incredibly disappointed with this burger. Actually it's so bad that I'd be disappointed drunk too. And at $6.29, it would leave a sizable dent in the small change pocket. At least it's dry enough to not be messy... the cabby will thank you.
Verdict: Double the disappointment.
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